Everyone Needs A Little Sunshine...

Life's A Beach! 

Chase and I got back from a long, sunny vacation in Florida.  We were there for almost two weeks, and for the first time in months and months, I felt normal, and rested and even a little happy. 

We had family coming and going, the Lombardo's greeted us, my Dad came a few days later and Jill visited for a weekend. 

The beach was beautiful and Chase is just like his Momma, a little beach bum.  Playing in the sand, the water, and taking long naps with a gentle sea breeze...ahh...life is good!

We literally went to the beach EVERY day...9 days in a row.  Chase didn't even get a dot of color (SPF 75 really does work) and I actually read and finished 2 books!  I use to read all the time, book after book.  But for some reason, ever since Alec died, I haven't been able to, the two books I read were books I could relate to and maybe that is why I finished them.  I am glad I still know how to read.

We went to the zoo, the aquarium and did I mention the beach? 

                                                Chase and Papa petting the sting rays! 

Looking for fishes!

Chase loves to go out to eat! 

I missed Alec, as I do every day.  When I am not home I find that I miss him more.  Maybe it is because I have more time to think, or maybe it is because I am away from our home and his things.  There were a few times where I would see something...I tee shirt with a sail fish for example, and I would think, ohh!  Alec would like that!  I must buy it for him!  Only to get snapped back to my reality...that Alec is not here any more. 

My heart still aches for him, and I think of him constantly.  I can not believe it has been six months.  I do not know how I get through my days without him.  But somehow the days come and go, the weeks and months still fly by, and life does move forward, whether I am ready or not.

Chase is my life, I love him so much, I can not even imagine what I where I would be without him.  He is the reason I have to get out of bed in the morning (and a couple times in the middle of the night!) and he puts smiles on my face that I never thought possible.  Little by little I am once again experiencing joy, somehow it is finding its way back into my heart.  I think of all the things that I do not get to enjoy with Alec anymore, a walk, a bike ride, a sunset, but then I look down and there is a little baby boy, who looks just like his Daddy, looking up at me with such wonder and love and I am reminded that I do have someone to share those experiences with.  And I know how much Alec would want me to continue doing all those things we loved to do so much...and he is right there with us...always. 

                                                I adore him, just like I adored his Daddy...

                                                              Chase loves his Daddy...

Me and My Little Beach Baby...