Why is that? That only the good die young? Or that bad things seem to only happen to good people? I really struggle with this question. I try to understand, try to make sense of it. After reading about the lives of those two young firefighters (and thanking God that both my brother-in-laws were OK) I am trying to grasp death all over again. These men who died, were not just firefighters. One was 33, a volunteer "Big Brother", he was training for the marathon because he was a first responder to the bombings last year and felt compelled to run, he was veteran, he was a hero in more ways than one. And then the other man, a 42 year old father of three who was described as a "family man", a "true gentlemen" he came from a family of firefighters, he played outside with his children, he loved his job, his family.
You never read an obituary about a young man or women that says "drank a 12 pack a day, had few family and friends, never smiled, preferred to stay inside most weekends"
Why is it not deadbeats, or druggies or mean people that die? Why is it the best of the best, the ones that had the most to offer, the ones that give the most, inspired, the ones who had so much to live for?
I was talking to my friend Cara Chase, whose husband Michael, is the author of "Loving Everyone" and "Am I being Kind" and she had just asked Michael that same question and he had a good answer, and she told me, but then was sweet enough to go home and re-write what he had said, so that I could try to process his reasoning. And, to be honest, it is the only answer I have ever heard that actually makes some sense.
From Cara:
Lunch discussion one day with Michael…I was very upset and asked the age old question, "Why do bad things happen to good people…"His reply, as much as I can remember…"Some spiritual teachers believe, (upon incarnation- in the spiritual sense), that before we came to earth, we had a conversation with God. We agree to become a "victims soul". That is one that lives a bright, vibrant, meaningful life but will more than likely leave in a tragic fashion. The reason for this is because it generates an outpouring of love, kindness, and compassion that otherwise would not have taken place with an individual who led a less than kind way of life. It doesn't mean that individual is good or bad, it just means his soul's purpose is a different path…"
And so, I enter the weekend with a heavy heart, but also inspired. If I were to die tomorrow, what would people say about me? How would my obituary read? If my 33 years were up, would I have fulfilled my contract with God? Would I have made a difference in this world? Would life go on the same without me or would there be a gigantic void? I should hope there would be a void, I should hope the lives of all who knew me would never be the same. I remember one of Reverend Jan's sermons a couple months back, she told a story of a man who died and then life going on as usual. His desk was packed up and someone replaced him at work shortly after, and it was as though he never even existed. It made me sad, for that man, but also inspired me, I really want to make sure I leave my mark. I want to have a legacy. I don't ever want to be "replaceable" I want to have a community of friends and family say the same wonderful things that were said about Alec, about these two firefighters, about all those we have lost too soon and too young. It does not mean we have to go out and save the world all at once, or run into burning buildings. But think about it, what can you do to make your life more valuable? What small thing can you do to help another? Who would say your eulogy, and what would they say? Did you live the best life possible? Did you share the gifts God has given you with others?
At the post funeral gathering for Alec, one man, who was at least 60 came up to me, with tears in his eyes and said "sitting there today, listening to how Alec lived his life, it changed me, it makes me want to LIVE, to be ALIVE, to take each day and make it the best day possible". I don't even know who this man was, all I remember is he had a purple button down shirt on and I remember those words. And thinking about it now, it does make sense, that Alec was put here for a reason, and although taken too soon from me and from all who loved him, he has left a void, he made an impact, and his legacy continues.
The amount of love, compassion, generosity that the entire country has shown during this time, it truly is incredible, there is so, so much good in this world. I am amazed every day.
Thank you to those two brave men for not only making the ultimate sacrifice, but for inspiring me to be greater, to go beyond, to make me realize once again that every day is a gift, to give with all my heart, and to remind me that heroes can be ordinary people who live extraordinary lives.
Rest in Peace Firefighter Mike and Lieutenant Walsh, you are heroes in every definition of the word. And to all the firefighters out there, especially my 2 brother in laws, thank you, for risking your life without hesitation for the chance to save another. And may God be with these families, friends and fellow firefighters during this time.
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