Our Journey Begins...: Pajama Lessons.

Pondering Life...or which puddle to jump in next?

Now I just feel guilty.

Ever since I wrote about Chase being a terror, he has been nothing but a little angel. I do not know what happened, and I do not care. Maybe God listed to my prayers? Maybe Alec heard them and he has some how stepped in? Maybe Chase could sense my frustration and felt bad for his poor mother? Or maybe the terrible three's come and go. Whatever happened, I am thankful.

He (knock on wood) never gets sick. But Sunday he had a stomach bug and last night the croup. It is hard to see your baby sick, and not be able to make it better. Today we were both exhausted (from being up all night) that we watched movies all day long. All he wanted to do was "cuggle" and give me "big hugs". He also joined my conference call in the morning, and repeated everything I said and then asked my co-workers if they wanted to play with his trains. (I had to reassure them he really was sick!)

I always loved the show "Kids Say The Darndest Things" (wouldn't it be nice if we could watch a show like that again...instead of those trashy reality shows!?). I keep telling myself I need to start a book with Chase Quotes. He cracks me up on a daily basis. The other day I picked him up from school and he asked me what kind of crackers he was eating (the teacher sent him home with a snack). I told him I didn't know. His response "Well Google it Mumma!" Then I told him as we looked up at the sky at the stars that Daddy loved stars, they were his favorite. "Oh, they are my favwite too!" he said. He asked the other day "what did Auntie do with (insert ex boyfriends name)? I told him he went to live at the farm. He thought about this for a moment, "oh, at the farm where Papa takes me?" Ah, yup. Sure, that farm. (Sorry but it was all I could come up with!) And then last week, he was wearing Mardi Gras beads around his neck and calling himself a super hero. I remembered that his cousins gave him a superman tshirt with a cape attached for Christmas and put it on him. Wow, the magic that a little red cloth can hold! He hasn't taken it off since, and every time I call him a "super hero" he has the sweetest little smile on his face. To me, he is a super hero through and through...he saved my life after all.

A real life super hero at my house!

But my new favorite is when Chase says "I love you too Mumma". Finally, I cracked him. I also smile with pride when he says please and thank you (he is very, very polite). I love that about him, and I know that would be important to Alec and to my Papa, who use to say "Please and thank you open any door with ease."

The other night I was in the kitchen and his little feet came scampering in, opened a cabinet and then scampered off. I didn't really pay much attention. A few (too quiet) minutes later I looked into the living room to see what he was up to. "Oh, nothin' Mumma", as he sat with a jar of honey and a spoon. "Just suckin on some honey." (Honey...sticky honey, all over him and coffee table, oops!)

His new obsession is movies about pigs. Charlotte's Web, Gordy and Babe. These movies are haunting me. I haven't been able to eat pork since. First, the pig is taken away from its mother or father. Then, the entire movie revolves around other animals trying to save him from being butchered. It is horrifying. Seriously, if I have to continue to watch them over and over, I may never eat a piece of bacon again. Luckily there are no movies about lobsters, scallops and fish. I have been working hard to get him into Disney's Cars, or Planes or Toy Story, no more animal movies with slaughter houses please!

Maybe it isn't any magical force that has come down and rescued me from the terrible tantrums and fits after all. Maybe it is me figuring out this single mother thing. Letting go of certain things that don't matter (fine...you can wear the same airplane pajamas three nights in a row, it is OK they did not get washed). I am learning that you can't argue with a 3 year old. You can't make things make sense to them. There is no reasoning, or explaining. There is no negotiating or debating. And, most importantly, I am learning to choose my battles...because at the end of the day, I want one thing...a good child. A child who loves, who is kind, who is true to himself, a child who believes in God and believes anything is possible. And it does not matter if he does those things wearing unwashed airplane pajamas or his clean firetruck pajamas. All that matters his little heart...that it is pure, open, loved and happy.

There is so much to look forward to these next few months. The longer days, the warmer weather (we broke 40 on Saturday...and yes, my mom and I sat out in the sun and went to the beach!) We go to Florida in April, Chase turns three in May, we are adding a small addition to our home, we are getting chickens (and probably starting an orphanage for pigs), lots of 5K's, a triathlon in June, and then sweet, sweet summer will be here! Ahhhhhh.....

Things are looking up. We made it through another winter, more time has passed, more healing to my once shattered heart, we are happy, healthy and grateful for this LIFE.