The week before Lilliana made her appearance, my Mom, Jill and I had an "induction" dinner, where we tried pretty much every possible way to get that baby out. (Eggplant, pineapple, lemon drop cupcakes, wine) But Miss Lill waited a few more days before marking her way into the world.
But that night will forever be a special one. We cooked dinner together, we laughed, cried and danced around the kitchen. It was one of those moments in your life that you never want to forget.
Jill had on her play list "Best Day of My Life" and told us she played that song over and over, dreaming of and envisioning the day she would bring her baby home in her arms. And so that was her theme song, and we played it over and over that night, singing, dancing and laughing. During dinner, I started to cry. Finally...there was a light at the end of our tunnel. Finally...our family would be whole and happy and healed. Finally...
And then, June 21st, exactly one year after Annie and Bella died, Jill and Brian brought home their sweet bundle of joy and played that song. To see Jill and Brian with their sweet baby girl...there is nothing that warms my heart more. Brian, is so proud, so sweet and affectionate. He loves his daughter so, so much. And Jill, her warmth and love for her baby...I have never seen a mother more in awe. And she said, in her own words, that Lilliana has "healed her broken heart" something she truly did not believe was possible.
When I reflect on the last few years, sometimes it becomes overwhelming for me. To say we "made it" just does not seem to even come close to what we went through. But we have all learned so much, and our lives are so sweet now. You become so aware. Aware of the beauty in the day, aware of beauty in the smallest moments, aware of the beauty in all that surrounds us. And none of us, not me, not Jill, not my Mom, let this grief define us. We overcame our fears. Fear of loss, fear of heart break, fear of the unknown. We cast our fears aside, we held our heads high, we weathered the storm, we looked up to Him, we prayed for strength, guidance, hope.
We put fear aside, opened our hearts and let LOVE in.
And if there is anything our family has learned through the last few years...when there is LOVE, anything is possible. Love can heal a broken heart, love can make your life worth living, with love comes joy, hope, faith.
With love a baby is born.
Jill made this video of her sweet little Lill, and with her permission, I share it with the world! Love you Lill. Love you Jill. Love you God, you are so good to us.
Lord, you do everything for me.
Lord, your love continues forever.
Psalm 138:8
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