The last couple weeks have been extremely hard. We were both hurting, Alec physically and I could feel my heart literally breaking every time I looked at him. He has been taking a lot of meds to stay comfortable which means he is not himself and not able to do much. Chase and I try to keep his spirits up, but each day with no hope and no word from MGH it was getting harder and harder. I think we were both slipping into a dark place however, today we are back.
It feels good to know we are going to start this trial soon. I think the hardest part is doing nothing, which has pretty much been what we have done for the last 4 or 5 months, once the chemo stopped working, waiting a month, and the clinical trial drug having no affect, then waiting another month. And it gets in your head, knowing nothing is being done and that the cancer must be spreading, and of course, the waiting in itself can drive you insane. The other hard part is Alec in pain, because it is a constant reminder that he is sick. The past two years he has never had a day where he felt like he had cancer, sure the chemo and surgeries happened, but that pain went away and he was strong and healthy once again. This time, it was not getting better.
Alec's Mom saw a rainbow on her way home and thought it might be a God Wink. I told her we needed some winks,it had been a while and sure enough, the next day we got the call. We were sad to hear that one women from church lost her battle to cancer last night, we have been praying for her and her family. Cancer affects so many and we pray so hard for a cure.
I don't even have any fun weekend updates...it rained (poured) both Saturday and Sunday and we had a quiet house. Chase and I went to a boring craft fair and then to Mardens (because what good is a rainy day without a trip to Mardens!) poor kid, I think he needs his Daddy to feel better to have some man time...enough of this shopping stuff with Mommy. Sunday Chase and I met Auntie Charlotte at church and as usual, it was lovely and it and everyone there made us feel better.
Chase and Daddy
Chase watched some NASCAR with Daddy on Sunday.
Chase looked like a little prince, wearing his first crown made by his friend Luke at church. I love my little prince...
So again, we thank you for the prayers. We feel so blessed and so fortunate to be given yet another chance. God has been good to us.
Love,
Heather, Alec, Chase and Millie
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