Nanny 911

Holy shoot.  (Thats what we say up here in Maine).  Chase, my little love bug, my angel, my sunshine, my perfect little muffin pie...he is how can I put it nicely...turning into the devil!

Why do people even say terrible two's? Two was amazing, wonderful, loving, angelic, endearing, darling, sweet, etc, etc.

But what happened?  He will be three in a little more than 3 months, hopefully that will mean this all ends three months early?

My mornings consists of...57 temper tantrums, a wrestling match to put clothes on, then clothes come completely off, an escape out into the snow, then if he is really fast, into the woods, another tantrum, a fresh little tongue sticking out at me, breakfast (which actually goes quite well), a ride to school, where I say "Chase look at that tractor!"  He replies totally annoyed and offended (and with a lisp), "thats not a tractor Momma, its a skid steer".  OK then...I am just going to shut my mouth and pray for my little angel to return to me.

I know it sounds absurd to anyone who knows him.  But "it" is here and it ain't pretty.

Tonight Auntie Ya-ya came over.  I thank God she lives so close.  What would I do without her? While she came to the rescue, and gave him a bath and me a break, I folded laundry and drank wine and enjoyed every second of it (and I hate laundry!).

These are the days that I curse Alec.  "You left me!"  "I am totally pissed at you right now!" I just think how much better at this he would be.  I am not the "patient" type.  In fact, it would most definitely go on my list of vices, impatient...number one.  So when I do that whole time out thing, it doesn't go so well.  Or when I try to get him to not use his binky, yeah...I don't usually win.  Alec was so good at all that, he would have been such an amazing father.

Being a single mother stinks.  Being a single mother and living away from your family stinks even more.  Being a single mother with 3 feet of snow outside stinks a wicked lot.

I never complain.  I have lots to be thankful for, but sometimes it is just plain hard.  No sugar coating it.  Yes, many people have it much worse than I do.  But that does not mean my days are easy or that I can pretend that they are.  There are still many  times a day where he is my sweet, funny, cute Chase, and I now cherish those moments even more than before.  Nights like tonight where we have dance parties and Chase shakes his bum wearing his Buzz-Light-Year skivvies to Flo-Rida and Pitbull,  and then throws his arms up in laughter, or when he settles down to read a book and he ends up reading me the book because he knows all the  words.  Or before bed when he wants to "cuggle me" on the couch with Teddy.  He continues to fill my life with so much joy, laughter, happiness, but sometimes...when that little devil comes out...look out!  He knows how to give his Mommy a run for her money.  Thank the lord for wine, and for Auntie YaYa.

Tonight, I pray for patience.  I pray for strength.  I pray for understanding.  I pray that someday I learn the difference between a tractor and a skid steer.  God help me!

At least he can cook his own eggies!  

He looks so sweet on the outside!  

Cuggling with Ted and Chase.