It has been almost a year since Annie and Bella were born, and there have been some really bad days, days where sadness and heartache seemed to weigh on us all, as if a dark cloud had moved in and it was never lifting. Walking around Castle Island with my sister over the last year, sometimes it seemed like a cruel joke, when we would pass by a set of twins or pink balloons tied to a mailbox, or a cute mom-to-be. I could see her eyes well up, I could feel her heart breaking all over again, why did these babies live? Why do these parents get to hug and kiss their children every night? Why is this so unfair?
Anger, sadness, hopelessness, envy, emptiness. That sums up the last year for my sister and her husband.
But then, as always, LOVE wins. The love that Jill and Brian have for each other, the love they want to give a child, the love that they deserve to receive, the love that has surrounded them, the love that creates miracles. Love happened. And with love comes hope. And then when you have hope, miracles happen, and that brings us to June 27th, 2014, Jill's expected due date.
Being pregnant after such a devastating loss has not been easy. They still mourn the death of Annie and Bella, and for what should be. It was bitter sweet to hear of her pregnancy. Yes, we were thrilled and grateful that it happened so quickly, but then, she shouldn't have to be pregnant again, she should have two baby girls in her arms. It has been scary, what if it happens again? How could we possibly get through another tragedy? Every day has been a day to "get through" for them. 9 months of "getting through" this pregnancy....each day is one day closer to having a healthy baby.
I have learned so much in the last year witnessing Jill and Brian. They went through a devastating loss, they were tested, their hearts were shattered, their dreams crushed. Yet...they never gave up. They have been a true example of what it means to be husband and wife. When one was down the other was right there, literally drying tears for one another. When Brian had a bad day, Jill would rush home from work to be by his side, when Jill was upset, it gave me such comfort in knowing he was there for her, helping her cope, allowing her to grieve openly. And through it all, they somehow managed to smile, to laugh again. Then most incredibly, they courageously decided to try again, to put aside their fears and put their faith in God. Now we pray for the safe, healthy, arrival of what will be the most loved, precious, bundle of joy, into our lives.
This summer. This summer. This summer. It is all I keep saying. The summer of love, of hope, of miracles.
No two parents deserve this more then Jill and Brian. We can not wait to welcome their third baby into the world. Annie and Bella although only here for a brief moment, our lives were forever changed, and they will always be a part of our families.
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