Just Pray.

I have never found so much comfort in praying.  Praying, I believe is something that is learned.  I feel as though it is a practice that you get better at over time.  I use to pray for miracles...I would pray for a cure of cancer, pray for Alec to get better...I would pray that it would all be OK.  I now know that praying for such things doesn't work.  As much as God would like to answer these prayers, he can't.  What he CAN do is give us STRENGTH, he can give us, HOPE and FAITH.  He gives us LOVE.

When I first started to pray (or actually plead) to God, I would ask him for something "God, Please help Alec, please make these results be good ones, please make the cancer go away".  But my prayers were never answered.  God would if he could...but he cant.  So then one day I changed the way I prayed.  I prayed for strength in the face of whatever results we had.  I prayed for healing...for our wounded hearts, I prayed and gave thanks for the endless love that surrounded us.  I prayed that whatever challenge we would face next, that we would get through it.

And I still pray.  I pray a lot.  I need it.  I would be lost without it.  I was running the other day, and this gigantic wave of sadness started to crush me...and I actually felt as though I was suffocating, perhaps it was a panic attack or a sadness attack or some other weird feeling of sadness, whatever it was, it was scary.  But instead of succumbing to it, I prayed.  I prayed for strength, and love and healing, and as quickly as that feeling came upon me, it left me and I was OK.

Every night we say our prayers, and Chase folds his little hands and goes through his list of family and friends and of course those special prayers needed.  One night I put him to bed, because he was so tired and I didn't think he needed to be up even for another minute.  But he started screaming..."pay, pay!  I need to pay!"  I had know idea what he was saying at first, then I realized he needed to say his prayers.  It actually made me feel happy and proud, that my little guy takes praying so seriously.

So, when in need, when all else fails, pray.